Let me tell you, during a flare or when I have lung issues, steroids are my best friend. They are a life saver. Literally.. to some people, Steroids are life savers. It is a great medication - with many great side effects.
Fortunately I was not on steroids for that long. I did not have to worry about some of the long term side effects that go along with chronic steroid use. But... I was on them long enough to gain weight!
I have the dreaded Steroid Stomach and the Steroid Spare Tire. Good times. I am sure some of the steroid fat has taken up residence elsewhere too. I have had to go up a pant size. Since it has taken up residence, getting it evicted has been no easy task.
It is bizarre. I did weight watchers and worked out the entire time I was on the darn things and you still gain weight? If I knew that I would have eaten a lot more pie! Nevertheless - I am post steroids with a post steroids body and I am trying to lose the weight, and love myself in the process.
I am doing weight watchers and am working out again. I took a respite from the gym when my membership expired and oddly enough, I actually lost weight? I think probably mostly water weight due to no weight training - but again - a sick joke. But I am back on the wagon and have rejoined the gym and after the holiday weekend I am a full fledged weight watcher "WW"
I am learning to be at peace with my new bod. We went away for the 4th of July to a resort with my kids. It was the first post steroid public appearance in a bathing suit. I had a little abdominal anxiety the night before we left and rushed off to Target to look for bigger suits (i.e. Less Muffin Top) and ended up getting a tankini and a skirt bottom.
Now I am no and have never been a Cindy Crawford.. I was no swim suit model by any sense of the word, but I have always been able to wear a bikini and feel pretty good about it. Puh-lease...I still had the cover ups if I had to walk around, but I have always worn a bikini.
So the tankini, skirt bottom and one piece are all new to me. But for fear of scarring people for life - I bought them and packed them and off we went.
The lesson (remember there is a lesson in everything) here is life is to live and be enjoyed with your family, not be a fashion show or worry about something as insignificant as a swim suit.
How did I learn this lesson you ask? Well, when we got to the resort it was about 1:00pm so most all of the lounge chairs at the pool were taken, so searching for four chairs together was like looking for a Democrat at a Gun Convention - not easy. But my husband found our spot, way in the back forty - Right Next to the Snack Bar! Where every soul at the pool stands line line and where every macho drunk guy is waiting to buy his next beer.
Yes - that is where I was to sit and take off my cover up and let it all hang out. Steroid spare tire and all... and for the first few moments I felt really sad and very self conscious, but as the theme to Rocky went off in my head - I yanked the cover up off and had a "Hello World Here I am" - That Girl - throw my hat in the air moment.
I was free. free to be you and me! I owned that Tankini and had the best weekend ever. I wore the swim skirt the next day, but I didn't like the way it floated up in the water, so I don't see that in my near future again... but on day three I broke out an old school MeeMaw one piece and rocked it like nobodies business.
I felt good. I felt free. I felt alive and grateful to feel well enough to be there and that was amazing.
Now I am gearing up for round two which is vacation in two weeks at the lake with my sisters. They are amazing beautiful women who both just happen to be size two.. with perky boobs - but hey!
I had an amazing Fourth of July and I hope you all did too!!
Life is good! (even in a one piece!)
Me Rockin the Tankini - Steroid Stomach and all!
Me and my beautiful boys!!