Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Flare Bear

Funny how "We" don't notice things but our kids do.

So... if you haven't noticed I have been MIA for a few weeks. This was partly due to "back to school" but also due to a flare up.

Well, I knew I was starting to "not feel well", but I thought it was due to the back to school blues I was having, but unless the blues can cause pain, joint swelling and muscle weakness.. I guess the blues had turned into a flare-up.

Perhaps the stress from back to school may have helped push me over the proverbial edge into the flare depending on what you believe when it comes to autoimmune diseases, but I was in a flare nonetheless.

I didn't even realize it though at the time. I guess sub-consciously I must have known I was having joint pain, and my hands were giving me trouble in the am with pain and swelling -What I like to call "Mickey Mouse Hands" because my hands feel big and puffy like the huge white gloves Mickey wears.  

I guess I knew my energy level start to fall despite being back at the gym and I suppose I must have noticed that the house was no longer getting cleaned : )

But consciously I guess I was just muddling through...keeping on...."Just do"ing it

What I didn't realize was evidently when I start to not feel well and begin to take those ever famous "respites" on the bed between tasks, I must lay and clutch this stuffed bear.

The bear isn't of any significant sentimental value. It's not from my childhood. It's a cute little thing I still throw on my bed because the hubster gave it to me a few years ago while trying to be romantic. I thought it was cute. It reminds me of that day. It's always "just there". Apparently, I he's my go-to guy on bad days.

 I never noticed this though until my son comes in one afternoon and says: "Are you not feeling well, your holding the "flare-bear"

The "Flare-Bear" ? .... To which he replies, "Yeah, every time you start to get a flare you start holding him"

Who knew? Evidently I did not.... What an astute observation from the kiddo. Perhaps I have some sub-conscious Freudian need to be held or taken care of? To go back to a more simple time? Or maybe he's just soft and gushy and feels nice.

I just think it is so funny and even more interesting that I never noticed or made the connection myself, let alone had a name for the thing.

It's pretty cute. I think I will start incorporating it into my Sclero-cabulary along with my other scerlo codes I use. So from now on I will say I had a flare bear day. Like IT!

Anyway, going back to said flare. It wasn't a huge one, but I must admit and fess up that I DID cave and go in for a steroid injection. I was having some difficulty walking and knew I had some muscle inflammation, so I caved.

There goes weight watchers for the next 4 weeks while the ol' steroids are swirling around my system (for those that don't know - Injectable steroids will last 4 weeks systemically).

But on the lighter - brighter note, I began feeling better within the next few days and was mostly back to my old self - and I am happy to add, got over my back to school blues too.

Just an FYI of significance to me.... My 1 year anniversary is Sept 13th. That is the very FIRST day I received my labs showing the retched Centromere Antibodies, so I consider it my anniversary date.

I didn't get my official stamp of approval from the Mayo until November first, but that was after having every know tube possible shoved somewhere and having enough diagnostic radiation to light up a stadium to make sure it was a "sure thing" - Ug.

So September 13th it is!

Another little tid-bit is; I will be leaving to see my sissy in Hot Springs, Ark on the 2nd and won't be back till the 7th so no blog for me. I will hopefully be laughing so hard my belly will hurt and having too much fun to even know what day it is.

I guess that's all for now. No flare bear on the Stacie front today.

Peace and Love ~


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