- What is Scleroderma? (AKA "The Big S")
- The Spoon Theory
- Early Onset Symptoms
- Got Muscles? Got Weakness?
- Centromere B Antibodies - Scientific Stuff
- GI Involvement in Scleroderma
- Joint Involvement = More Severe disease. Great.......
- Fibro -My-What? Myth or Legend.....This ones for ...
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Attitude IS Everything !!
It really is. Especially in today's trying times.
I had someone ask me yesterday how I have such a sense of humor about the Big S... and Aren't I scared?
And my answer was; Hell if I'm sick or dying, I want to at least have fun doing it!
Just because your sick (or whatever negative circumstance you may have) does not mean you have to live IN it everyday. Your disease does not define you. It is not who you are or how you get validation. It's just the way it is.... not to be so blunt - but hell, it is what it is. Those are the cards... so what you do with them is up to you.
Who WANTS to be sick, or grumpy, or complain all the time....Not me. I'm not a big fan of those types who enjoy playing or living in the victim role. I just don't understand it. I try not to judge it and understand "the why - behind the what" that may drive those who chose to live life that way - but it gets old. And quick...
I try to just accept the things I cannot change (serenity prayer..) like the Big S and just live my life along with it. Sure - I might not feel great at times, but that doesn't mean that I cant still BE great. Right.
Life is what you make it... You can create your own existence - and as a matter of fact you do. It's pure physics/Science?Magnetism?Law of Attraction - whatever you want to call it... "that which is like unto itself is drawn" .......You chose how you want to live. If you want to be sick - you'll be sick and feel sick all of the time. Whatever it is you think and feel - you WILL live the results.
So I chose to not BE a sick person. I am just a person who happens to have Autoimmune Disease which causes me symptoms of which I feel physically and must deal with. That's it.
I don't live in a state of constant worry about what may be, what can happen, what is supposedly going to happen down the line...... I would be bonkers AND a complete downer to be around. Sure I think about it sometimes.. but you know what I call those moments. A WAKE UP call to live.
I just want to live every moment I can and enjoy them as much as possible, hopefully with a little grace and dignity and a LOT of laughs and smiles. Try to be as kind as I can. Show as much empathy and understanding to those around me as I am able, Try NOT to judge - cuz every body's life experiences have been different - Be a good person, mother, wife and friend - and love myself as much as possible.
And no I don't walk around happy everyday singing Zippidy Do Da... mainlining Prozac or take a happy pill suppository. I just try.... when I start to give in to the pitty party, if its a really bad day - I will allow myself THAT day to feel bad (love myself) then pick up my boot straps the next day and live. I try not to cause or create too much intensity.
And if I need someone because I'm not doing so great conquering the demon that day on my own - I reach out and tell people "Hey - I need you" "I'm scared, lonely, anxious..whatever today" and I let them know. No games. No drama... just a moment where I need to know someone else is there. Validation. After that, I move on -back into my life and try to be as dorkily blissful as possible.
I read something someone posted - It went like this:
Do all the good you can; by all the means you can; in all the ways you can; in all the places you can; to all the people you can; for as long as you can!
I like it.... and I try to live by it, albeit, since I am no Mother Theresa - my ways may be smaller - but even a smile can change someones day, right?
So I guess this blog is about perspective - how you chose to look at things and then live them.
I feel pretty darn lucky for my life and all I have in it... I really do.
Sure - there have been some obstacles - but like anything - you learn from them and move on. Not live in the mistakes you've made or the symptoms you have, or the wrongs that have been done to you.
You hope that people will try to be as human as possible with each other, and try to see things from each others perspectives - without judgement - and with understanding, acceptance and empathy (if deserved) -
but that doesn't always happen.. The hills aren't always alive with the sound of music. Ship Happens and people get hurt.....
But as long as you know you did good, gave that person what they needed - when they needed it and were there for them when they reached out, then you can let go of the hurt done to you and OWN your Truth - that it probably wasn't about you (why they hurt you, let you down, etc..) It was probably more about them... Grieve the pain - but then move on. Not everything is about you... Let go and Let live.
Anyway - So like I said, sure I guess people could sit there and say or think about the bad, the end, the statistics.... But even then - I still say "Hell, If I'm dying - I'm still gonna have fun doing it"