Monday, August 29, 2011

Chicago - My Kinda Town

Well I am back from my trip to Funky Town... feeling a tad better emotionally and getting there physically. 

I am just not a good tired person, and this fatigue really does kick your a**. No Joke. I mean its an obviously "Soul" crushing fatigue (as you can gather from my last post) that can emotionally devastate you - and if you are not in the right place emotionally when it hits - Well, then you go to Funky Town for a while. It' like walking through pudding during severe cloud cover. You just want it to thin out and the clouds to lift so you can feel human again. It's not fun and I think my body was just plain beat!!

I had gone to Chi Town - my old childhood stomping grounds - with my sister and mom for a week preceding my trip to Funky Town and I think perhaps that was the last straw before I made my left turn. 

We did a lot of walking around, which was amazing. It is a very pedestrian city - which I love!! And the energy there - forgettaboutit! The city itself is a living organism full of life, so how can you not have energy when you are there!! 

Sure I limped and did my infamous "Gangsta walk" as my husband calls it when my feet and ankles call it quits and I kind of half walk, shuffle and drag myself around. But that was physical and I knew I would pay the price for walking and it was worth the price of admission. I had a great time. 

What I didn't realize is the residual fatigue that crept in like a slow fog until it was right there and enveloped me. I think my body was just tired from the trip and when I finally had the "down time" to sit and rest, my body called it quits for a while. I guess I didn't realize what the trip had taken out of me, because it didn't happen during the trip. But I think at some point your body raises the flag and then it's over. 

I am less mad at my body now, and I must admit I am actually really proud of it. Like a general of an army - my soldiers marched on during battle - and when they finally made it back to camp, they collapsed. So thank you body for allowing me an amazing trip to Chicago!! Thank you for letting me smell the smells, and walk the walk and feel the vibe and energy of the city. I loved every minute of it. 

Your white flag went up and you surrendered last week, and that's is okay. I understand and know you will be back in action and ready for battle soon. At least I do now that I am out of Funky Town and a tad more rational now - lol. 

Ah - this up and down stuff is the worst. I think it's the emotional battle we fight that is harder. Never knowing what each day will bring and then having to adjust and accept at the opening of your eyelids. But it's okay - Because life is good, even on a bad day.. and even when you are in Funky Town.

I uploaded some pics of Chicago. Love that city. Hope you enjoy!!


1 comment:

  1. Hello, new reader i also have scleroderma. I found you blog while searching the net! I'm glad you loved Chicago, it' my home!!!

    Have a great day!